Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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