Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize