he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
