I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
