i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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