dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
