Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
