So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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