I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
