he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
