I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
