trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
