Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
