im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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