I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
