she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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