Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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