Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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