I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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