did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
