As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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