Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
