I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
