I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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