I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
