Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
