I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
