I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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