Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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