pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
