My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
