did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
