but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You've changed since you got that strap on
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
