Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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