i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
