JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
