Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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