Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
