I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
