just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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