I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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