a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
