And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
