i don't like sucking hair
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
