I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
sex in a hospital.. check
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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