Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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