woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
