me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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