Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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