So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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