I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
