Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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