YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
