"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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