i would punch a child for taco bell
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dick very happy bro
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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