He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
