Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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