"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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