at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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