I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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