I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
