He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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