I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
