She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
